Well I still have a uterus... it's still there and it's still working. YAY!! The scar is 'ok'. It has a 4mm thickness at the thinnest point and we were told 'you are high risk but it's worth a try'. Worth a try? I want the best outcome possible not just a try! I want to know there will be a healthy baby and they won't take the chances like last time, that they will listen to what my body is saying! I just wish there was some sort of guarantee but I guess there is never one in anything in life.
It's just a shame that there is 'no data' on this for comparison, even though we blew 'data' out of the water with Sophie. No one knows how safe it will be and how far we can go. It's basically playing it by ear until around week 26 and if all is ok deliver at week 28. That scares me.. everything scares me right now. If If If IFFFFFFFF... I am so sick of If's.
Just going down this track makes me feel guilty. We only just lost her and we miss her terribly. We are not trying to replace Sophie, we never could. She was amazing and touched our hearts so deeply. We learnt so much from her little life and we would give anything to have her back, but I know that's not possible. Hope is now what we are moving towards.. hope that maybe there will be a Sophie Jr in the future.
At least we have a while to think it all over. Thinking is all I seem to do at the moment.