The jury is still out with this one.
I've had light hair almost my whole life and recently I've been pondering as to whether I would change my hair from blonde to dark. When I did it last time (and only time) it symbolised a new start, a fresh me. So after many years of meeting bad men I vowed to change my life for the better, resigned myself to singledom and went dark. I liked being dark. I freaked out when I looked in the mirror but I liked being dark. It gave me a new sense of freedom like all the bad history dissolved with the dye.
When I met DH I was dark. He didn't know the blonde. My hair brought with it a real man.. and the dark locks captured him. Amazing how much a bottle can change things. We married and over time I added foils, before I knew it the dark had gone and the blonde was back again. Life was happy and full of promise for the future. It felt good to be blonde again.
The blonde was not making me happy so today I jumped in the deep end again. My subconscious hopes this is the start of some good things to come. I know that is crazy.. it's a hair colour but it's symbolism has worked for me in the past and lets face it I am willing to try anything to get out of this hell I call life.
I am dark. I wished it cured everything but it didn't. I look in the mirror and don't have the wow factor I once did. I have nothing. I am flat, I am sad and I am still an angel mum. What an idiot to think anything would change. Right now the dark now reminds me of what I lost rather than the future but I am hoping that will change... the bottle WILL work again.
I long for the day when I get excited about something but I know I would be happily blonde forever if I could have Sophie Cleo back...